Loonatics Unleashed Online :: Fanscripts by Black_Oracle | Episode 02: Love Stinks
Episode 02: Love Stinks Black_Oracle
[At the Loonatics’ headquarters, Ace is in the combat room practising dodging and shooting down incoming lasers, projectiles and blade discs. Tech is in the control room above, setting the combat practice level and monitoring Ace’s progress.]
Ace:
[shouting] How am I doing Tech?!
Tech:
[speaking into microphone] You’ve avoided 85 out of the hundred—not bad.
Ace:
[determined] But could be better!
[The doors to the combat room open just then and Lexi walks in.]
Lexi:
[excited; holding some kind of message imager device] There you are Ace! I’ve been looking for you. I’ve got something here you should see!
Ace:
[resuming combat practice] Later Lex! I’m kinda busy right now!
[Lexi’s initially excited expression falls into one of disappointment at Ace’s ignorant words. She turns quietly and walks back out through the combat room’s sliding doors. Ace seems to be oblivious to her exit as he continues to jump over projectiles. Suddenly the combat practice sequence stops completely. Ace, puzzled, turns up to look at the coyote in the control room, but he is no longer there. Ace is mildly startled to find him three steps behind him when his eyes fall back downwards. Tech has his arms crossed and there is a disapproving look on his face.]
Ace:
Problem Tech?
Tech:
You just pushed her away.
Ace:
Lexi? Nah, she’s fine. Whatever she had to show can wait. But I’ve got a combat score to improve.
[Tech doesn’t look impressed with Ace’s choice of priorities and is about to say something else when Rev comes rushing into the combat room.]
[Tech pulls out a remote and turns on a holographic TV screen in front of them.]
[An image of a smartly dressed black and white skunk anthropomorph descending steps out of an aircraft appears as a female news reporter on the screen reports, ‘Today French millionaire bachelor Mr Romeo Le Pew arrived in Central Acmetropolis from Acme France. He will be here for 2 weeks to attend the opening party of his spectacular new roof-top diner restaurant, ‘The L’Amour Cuisine’, which is the newest addition to his expanding international restaurant business. When queried as to who would be attending his restaurant’s opening celebration party, he replied that anyone who is anybody would be there. All the big stars of Acmetopolis have been invited. And most intriguing of all, Acmetropolis’ superhero defenders, The Loonatics, are also on the guest list!’]
[A few nights later, the Loonatics are sitting in one of Tech’s best-looking vehicles on their way to the roof-top diner restaurant’s big opening party. Tech is driving the red-painted car whilst the others sit at the back in spacious seats. The guys are dressed in tuxedos whilst Lexi is in a cream white evening dress. She has her arms crossed and is looking away from Ace who is trying to offer her a small apologetic look.]
Ace:
[pleads mildly] C’mon Lexi, I said I was sorry already! How was I supposed to know you had an important invitation to show me?
Lexi:
[looks away from Ace] Hmph!
Ace:
[leans over to Rev, whispering] Women, always so particular about how you treat ‘em!
[Rev shrugs unhelpfully at his leader’s comment.]
[On the other side of the back seats, Duck inspects his reflection in the car window.]
Duck:
[straightens up black blazer; talks to self] The name’s Duck, Danger Duck! Oh yeah, I’m as smooth as they come!
[Slam grunts and shifts about uncomfortably in his constricting tuxedo suit, moving his arms around in awkward motions.]
[Finally the Loonatics pull up at the well-lit entrance to a very tall building. The five at the back get out of the car and Tech drives it into a parking space, then gets out and joins the others. They enter the magnificent looking building and step into an elevator that takes them to the very top roof level. Once there, Ace and his companions are greeted by the sight of a bustling, glamorous party in a huge golden hall. People are standing around or sitting at cloth-covered tables, chatting and drinking from glasses of wine. Slam spots the selection of buffet food laid out on some long tables at the sides of the hall; he immediately tornadoes over to gobble it up.]
Ace:
[grins] Well, looks like someone’s gunna be having a good time tonight!
[The Loonatics are approached by a suave-looking black and white skunk anthropomorph and a tall shaved-headed man in tuxedos too.]
Romeo Le Pew:
[strong French accent] Aaahh, zhe Loonatics! Finally you ‘ave arrived! ‘Velcome to my L’Amour Cuisine!’
Tech:
[shakes Romeo's hand] Mr Le Pew, thank you for inviting us. Your restaurant looks magnificent.
Romeo:
Why zhank you Dr Coyote! Pleaze, make yourselves comfortable.
Man:
[shakes Ace's hand] It’s a pleasure to meet the infamous Loonatics!
Romeo:
Oh, zhis is Tony Vulgari, my assistant manager. Ee iz very dedicated in ‘elping moi run ma culinary business.
[Romeo’s eyes fall upon the eye-catching form of Lexi and he is instantly at her side.]
Romeo:
Aaahh, Miss Lexi Bunny I perzume! You are az lovely as in all the pictures ah ‘ave zeen!
Lexi:
[blushes] Errr, thank you Mr Le Pew.
Romeo:
[kisses Lexi's hand] Pleaze, call me Romeo, madamemoiselle!
[Ace, annoyed, takes a step forward intending to interject between Lexi and Romeo, but Tony Vulgari blocks his path and begins long-windedly chattering away to him about the restaurant business. Ace just nods politely at the bald-headed man, but his eyes follow Lexi as she is lead onto the dance floor by the smooth-talking French skunk. Romeo pulls Lexi close to him in a ballroom dance embrace.]
Romeo:
[gazes deeply into Lexi's eyes] So Miss Lexi, do you like French cuisine?
[boasting] Pfff! I can rake in more ladies than that! Why I’m practically a female magnet! Watch! [Duck tightens the bow-tie around his neck and strides up to a small group of women.] Alright ladies! Don’t all rush me at once!
[Duck pulls off what he believes to be a dashing smile to the staring women. The ladies, unimpressed, grab baguettes from the tables, their umbrellas and other stick like objects and start whacking the poor duck.]
[Tech and Rev look on at the struggling duck and shake their heads. Tech then spies the suspicious movements of a few men across the hall. Suspicions aroused, the coyote follows one of the men at a safe distance, turning his head away and pretending to drink from a glass when the man looks behind himself at one point. The man disappears into the kitchen. Tech follows him in and observes him doing something on one of the food shelves. The man then makes his way calmly out of the kitchen. Tech runs over to the food shelf and starts scanning his eyes over it. To his shock he spots a small detonator device set to go off in 5 minutes.]
Tech:
[shouts to chefs in kitchen] Everyone clear out! There’s a bomb in here!
[All the chefs gasp and start rushing out of the kitchen into the main hall. Tech follows after them. He scans the hall quickly for the man that planted the detonator and spots him and a few other men heading toward an exit.]
Tech:
All of you! Stop!
Rev:
[runs up to Tech] What’s-going-on-Tech?!-All those-chefs-are-screaming-something-about-a-bomb-and-…
Tech:
I think there’s a few around here! Get everyone out!
[Rev speeds off. Ace ushers running people down the exit stairs. Lexi along with Romeo goes to help him. Slam tornadoes through a wall and Rev picks up people and speeds out through the gaping hole, dropping them off on the ground below outside. Slam does likewise with his tornado maximizer. Duck grabs onto some people and teleports them out of the building. Tech gathers together most of the detonator devices from around the hall with his magnetic powers and piles them into the furthest corner of the hall he can find. Then he uses his magnetic powers to rip off a few metal doors and other metal objects, shaping them into a large shield to cover the pile of detonators with.]
Ace:
[calls to Tech] Tech! They’re gonna blow! We gotta go now!
Tech:
Nearly done Ace!
[Ace and the other Loonatics, being the last ones in the restaurant, quickly escape through the hole in the wall and land safely on the ground outside. They all turn around expecting Tech to follow right after them. But to their horror, the roof-top restaurant they just left then explodes.]
Rev:
Tech!
[All the Loonatics’ faces fall as they fear the worst for their friend Tech.]
[walks up to Rev, still burnt] It was you that ruined my vehicle-repair-bot-200?!
Rev:
[relieved] Yes-I-…Tech! You’re-alive!
Tech:
[restored to normal] Barely.
[Rev launches himself onto the green coyote and squeezes him in a tight power hug. Tech, almost choking, tries to push the red roadrunner off of him, unsuccessfully.]
Romeo:
[takes Lexi's hand] Miss Lexi! Are you alright? You are unharmed?
Lexi:
[tries to be cheerful]I’m fine Romeo! As you can see I’m still in one piece!
Ace:
[crossly walks up to two, annoyed] So any idea who would want to try destroying yer restaurant Mr Le Pew?
Romeo:
I do not have a clue! [Tony Vulgari puts a hand on Romeo’s shoulder.] But I intend to find out!
[Commercial break here.]
[All the Loonatics are back at HQs. Everyone, except Lexi, are in the command control room, trying to figure out some leads on the intended demolition of Romeo’s restaurant.]
Duck:
[sarcastic] Maybe those guys hated French cooking?
[Slam blabs something in disagreement to Duck’s comment about the cooking being distasteful, shaking his head vigorously.]
[Tech is gently tapping away at a keyboard and studying a computer screen intently.]
Ace:
Anything?
Tech:
It seems Romeo’s got some intense competition in the culinary business. “Perfect Cooking’s” being in tight competition with our skunk friend and his company for the past year. Both companies have been expanding rapidly in the same areas of Acmetropolis and are fighting each other for more business.
Ace:
Perhaps we should go have a liddle looksee at “Perfect Cooking’s” head office then.
[Just then, Lexi walks into the command control room, dressed in a slim-fitting red top and jeans and carrying a small handbag over her shoulder.]
Duck:
What’s with the dress code missy?
Lexi:
I’m going out shopping for some new evening outfits.
Ace:
[unsettled] Evening outfits?
Lexi:
Yeah, can’t be seeing Romeo again in these old rags now can I?
Rev:
[puzzled] Seeing-Romeo-again?
Lexi:
[slightly impatient] He invited me out for dinner at another one of his restaurant branches this Friday.
Ace:
Lex, we’re about to head out to investigate…
Lexi:
…a lead on the bombing at Romeo’s L’Amour Cuisine, I know. I heard you guys. I have super hearing remember? You boys can handle a little info gathering without me I’m sure. And when you get back, you can tell me all about what you’ve discovered.
Tech:
Alright Lexi, we’ll go ahead without yo…
Ace:
[annoyance in voice] Lex, we don’t have time for shopping now. We gotta sort this case out foist!
Lexi:
[raises eyebrow] The five of you can handle this easily. [turns to walk out the door]
[Ace impulsively reaches for her wrist and stops her. Lexi turns back to face him surprised, and looks at his hand tightly gripping her wrist.]
Lexi:
Ace? Let go of me, please.
[Ace, blinking, suddenly realizes what he’s doing and lets go of Lexi’s wrist. She glances at him momentarily before walking out the door. The others, having observed all this, just look at each other in puzzled fashions and shrug their shoulders.]
[Later, Ace and the others, minus Lexi, arrive at Perfect Cooking’s head office via jetpacks. They land on the reinforced glass paned roof. Tech pulls out a pocket-sized electronic lock-opener device of his and sets it down on top of an electronic lock to one of the roof windows. The device’s LED lights flash red a couple of times before changing to green and emitting a low beeping sound. The click of an opened roof window follows instantly after the beeping, and Tech easily pulls open the window pane. He and the other Loonatics jump through the opened roof window and land delicately on the floor inside. They are in a filing cabinet room.]
Ace:
Look around in all the cabinets and see if there’s anything mentioning Romeo’s restaurant business.
[The others nod and spread out to search in different cabinets.]
[Ace and Rev quietly go to look for the source of Rev’s psychically-sensed signature. They look around a few cabinets and spot a dark, shuffling figure in a corner. The stranger is wearing a black burglar’s outfit. Pressing their backs flatly against oppositely-positioned filing cabinets, Rev and Ace look at each other side to side. Ace raises his hand and silently signals to Rev to ambush the stranger on the count of three. He raises three fingers, then two, then one. Ace and Rev jump out of their hiding positions as quick as lightning and pounce on the dark figure, tackling him to the floor. Rev holds the stranger’s arms down whilst Ace weighs him down by sitting on top of him. Ace pulls off a mask that covers the stranger’s face and to his and Rev’s complete surprise, Romeo Le Pew looks up at them, surprised himself at the sight of the two Loonatics.]
Ace:
Le Pew?! What are you doing snooping around ‘ere?
Romeo:
I could ask you zhe same thing monsieur Ace Bunny. But I’m not stealing anything if zhat is what you are thinking.
Ace:
[unconvinced] Trying ta sabotage the competition perhaps Mr Le Pew?
[To Ace and Rev’s further surprise, Romeo’s form suddenly dissipates from underneath them; he turns into a cloud of gas which floats over to the open roof window that the Loonatics had entered the building through before and escapes. Ace and Rev stand up and are joined by Slam, Duck and Tech just in time to see the unusual gas cloud float out.]
Duck:
What the quack was that?!
[Later, back at HQs in the command control room again, Ace and Rev tell the others, who are seated, about their sighting of Romeo Le Pew.]
Another individual affected by the meteor hit last year?
Ace:
[insists] Meteor radiation victim or not, Romeo Le Pew is still under suspicion of corporate sabotage of and attempted information stealing from Perfect Cooking! He could’ve even blown up his own restaurant the other night! Claiming indemnities for the loss and damage AND placing his Perfect Cooking rivals under public suspicion!
Tech:
There’s no evidence for such accusations Chief. We don’t know anything about Le Pew’s intentions if anything past just building his culinary business.
Ace:
[frustrated] Tech! He was snooping around Perfect Cooking’s head office!
Tech:
[looks Ace in eye] So were we, Chief. But I think the bigger question here is: why are you so eager to lay blame on him?
[Rev, Slam and Duck all nod their heads in agreement with Tech’s question. Ace freezes at the blunt question. Just then, as if in answer to Tech’s question, Lexi enters the room with paper bags hanging from her hands’ grip.]
Lexi:
What’s all the yelling over Romeo in here about?
Ace:
Lex, you can’t see Romeo again this Friday!
Lexi:
[face hardens] And why not?!
Ace:
We caught him sneaking around at Perfect Cooking’s head office and…
Lexi:
[crosses arms angrily] You think he’s a criminal!
Ace:
Look Lex, he could be dangerous!
Lexi:
The only thing that’s dangerous around here is your controlling, obsessed attitude! [storms out of room]
[Ace's face falls]
[Friday evening comes and Lexi enters another stylish French restaurant. She is dressed in a short cherry-red dress with an accompanying red bow tying her long ears together at the top of her head. She spots the dashing form of Romeo Le Pew waving at her from a candle-lit table for two. She smiles and makes her way over to him. A little later after eating their meals, Romeo’s face takes on a solemn expression.]
Romeo:
Lexi, my little petite fleur, I need to tell you something important.
Lexi:
[leans closer to Romeo] If this is about you and my team mates bumping into each other at Perfect Cooking’s head office the other night…
Romeo:
Aahh, I zhee monsieur Ace must have informed you already then. Yes, I was looking around at Perfect Cooking’s ‘ead office. I suspected they might be behind zhe bombings at my L’Amour Cuisine. But I found no evidence of that at the ‘ead office.
Lexi:
So who would want to…?
Romeo:
I have no idea now. [Romeo sighs] I also need to tell you zumthing else about moi Miss Lexi.
Lexi:
How ‘bout we leave that for another time Romeo? I’m beat. I think I need to retire for tonight.
Romeo:
Of course my little petite fleur. I shall take you home.
[Romeo and Lexi stand up from their table and Romeo waves a thank you at some of his staff in the restaurant, then the couple make their way out. Outside, Romeo leads Lexi to his Rolls Royce-like car and opens the door for her. They both sit in and make themselves comfortable in the vehicle’s seats. Suddenly two men in dark sweaters and caps approach the car and knock roughly on Lexi’s window side. She winds down the window to see what they want, but as soon as she does, they instantly whip out gas sprayers and spray a noxious knock-out gas inside the car. Lexi and Romeo cough a few times. Romeo tries to open the car door and Lexi pushes a button on a gold bracelet she is wearing around one of her wrists; they both pass out within seconds though. The button Lexi has pushed on her bracelet starts flashing silently.]
[Back at the Loonatics’ HQs, Zadavia contacts Ace and the others.]
Zadavia:
Loonatics! I have received a distress signal from Lexi. She’s in danger!
Ace:
[growls] I knew that skunk would be trouble! Where is she Zadavia?
Zadavia:
She seems to be on the move. Her signal’s going out of Central Acmetropolis toward the West Side docks.
Ace:
We’re there! To the jet craft Loonatics!
[Over at the Acmetropolis West Side docks by a wide-spanning river, Lexi and Romeo slowly come to from the effects of the knock-out gas. They are tied up and hanging from the top of a raised crane hook over the river waters. A small group of armed men are pointing their guns up at the pair. A bald-headed man then walks toward them.]
Romeo:
Tony Vulgari?! What is zhe meaning of all zhis?!
Tony Vulgari:
It’s just business, ‘boss’. My business now that is!
Lexi:
Vulgari?! Isn’t he your assistant manager?!
Romeo:
Oui, petite fleur, but not anymore now!
Tony:
[mocking] You’re right about that ‘former’ boss! Coz soon I’m gonna be the new boss of your culinary business!
Lexi:
And how exactly were you planning on getting there mister?
Tony:
Such a nosey, but pretty, little bunny! I damaged the L’Amour Cuisine 5 nights ago. [to Romeo] It was the best way to ruin your public image as a high-class restaurant runner. Not too many people are gonna be impressed with your unsafe restaurants! Not to mention you having seemingly dangerous enemies!
Lexi:
You’re scum Vulgari! You won’t get away with this!
Tony:
Actually Miss Bunny, I will. [Tony nods at one of his armed henchmen, who then activates the crane to slowly lower Lexi and Romeo down into the river waters.] Y’see, once Romeo and you are out of the way, no-one will ever suspect that I had anything to do with the restaurant bombing or your, currently impending, demise. And with poor Mr Le Pew gone, I’ll step in to fill his place as chief director of the business!
Romeo:
[pleading] Tony! Let her go! She haz nothing to do wiz any of zhis!
Tony:
[chuckles darkly] Sorry Romeo! But there’ll be no heroics tonight!
Ace:
Wanna bet doc?!
[Tony and his armed henchmen whirl around to see Ace and the other four Loonatics facing them.]
Tony:
[points to the Loonatics] Fire! Fire!
[The armed henchmen open fire at the five Loonatics, who all leap out of the way in different directions. Ace fires his eye lasers at two henchmen and knock their guns out of their hands. Duck conjures up two power orbs in his hands and tosses them at another two henchmen’s faces, covering them with purple goo. Slam spins past three henchmen, knocking them over and their guns out of their hands. Rev whizzes around another three and swipes their guns quicker than the blink of an eye. Four men surround Tech and aim their guns at him. Tech raises his arms and twists their guns out of shape with his electromagnetic powers. While Ace and the others are engaged with Tony’s henchmen, Romeo closes his eyes in concentration and once again converts himself into a gaseous form, slipping out of the ropes binding him. He drifts toward the crane controls and reforms himself into solid form again. He is looking for an off switch to the crane to rescue Lexi when one of the henchman charges at him and tries to fire at him. Romeo morphs into gas and the bullets pass right through him.]
Lexi:
Ace! Help! [is submerged underwater]
[Ace runs to her rescue, diving into the river after her. Underwater, he swims to Lexi, who is apparently losing oxygen fast, and fires his eye lasers at the ropes binding her, successfully burning them loose. Then he grabs Lexi and pulls her up to the water’s surface. He drags her back to land.]
Ace:
Lex! Are you alright?
[Ace realises that she’s not breathing. In a panic, he quickly starts administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to her, pushing down hard on her chest then pressing his lips onto hers to deliver breaths, then repeating the procedure again. The other Loonatics, having taken care of all Tony Vulgari’s henchmen, rush over to Ace and Lexi. Lexi suddenly coughs deeply and everyone breathes a sigh of relief. Ace helps her sit up.]
[Ace and Lexi stare at Rev speechless first, then at each other. Small smiles creep across the bunnies’ lips.]
Tech:
[teasingly] So I guess this means you have two have ‘kissed’ and made up?!
[Ace and Lexi both blush hard at this.]
Tony:
Hold it right there you annoying Loonatics!
[The Loonatics turn around to see an angry-looking Tony Vulgari pointing a gun at them. From behind him a strange gas creeps around his face, infiltrating his airways through his nostrils and mouth. His eyelids droop and he suddenly collapses onto the ground, unconscious. The strange gas then materialises into Romeo Le Pew.]
Lexi:
I take it that was the other important thing you were wanting to tell me earlier then Romeo?
Romeo:
Oui madame! I too was changed after zhe big meteor hit last year. Please, do not let it get round. It would ruin my reputation in the public eye.
Ace:
[shakes Romeo's hand] We won’t tell a soul Romeo.
[A few days later, Lexi meets Romeo again at the Acme Central Park.]
Lexi:
[Lexi's eyes fall] Romeo, I have a confession to make.
[Romeo looks at Lexi slightly puzzled.]
Lexi:
I…I only agreed to go out with you because I was feeling rejected. But…
Romeo:
[disappointed] There iz someone else?
Lexi:
[answers uncertainly] Yes…no…I don’t know…I mean, there’s someone I care for deeply, but I don’t know if we could ever…
Romeo:
[soft voice] You need say no more. I understand. Zhere iz someone else closer to your heart, but you are uncertain as to where you stand in his, no?
Lexi:
Yes.
Romeo:
Do not worry my petite fleur! If you and he are destined for love, it vill happen in its own time. You cannot rush the growth of a beautiful rose!
Lexi:
[smiles] Thank you Romeo. You seem wise in matters of the heart.
Romeo:
Ah alas, my own heart has ached much before because ov love. Yet I remain hopeful zhat one day, I vill find true love!
[Lexi places her hand on top of Romeo’s.]
Lexi:
[with certainty] I know you will Romeo!
[Lexi kisses Romeo Le Pew on the cheek and steps back.]
Lexi:
Goodbye Romeo.
[With that, Lexi mounts her motorcycle on the roadside and puts on her driving helmet. Then she starts up the engine and drives away back toward HQs, leaving Romeo Le Pew waving goodbye behind her. Romeo, smiling to himself, glances for a few long seconds in the direction Lexi went, then he himself turns and walks the opposite way down the park path.]
The End of Episode 2!
petite fleur — little flower⁄small flower ma — my (feminine form) mon — my (masculine form) monsieur — sir⁄mister madame — married woman madamemoiselle — unmarried woman L'Amour Cuisine — (literally) The Loving Kitchen oui — yes
